This baseball offseason has been filled with noise by the very best dipshit-Internet-goofs out there, who feel the need to be negative and wail into the wind. And a lot of Blue Jays fans like to bescumber their ideas in threads on Twitter, blogs, and, of course, the armpit for Blue Jays fans in the land of Reddit – r/Torontobluejays.
I don’t mean to shit on all the shits on the ol’ Internet, but I’m shitting on them any way – for the sake of a good ol' fashion shit. I guess some old hens like to tweet and thread their thoughts because it’s important for them to make their voice and opinion seem strong, powerful, and intuitive with every little hyperbolic humblebragging online moment.
And I understand that Toronto has a shit-ton of bellicose fans, and, to be honest, I kind of like that sort of game 5 ALDS Texas/Toronto energy. In a way, the ol' internet is kind of like the 500 section of the Dome: people get to howl into the void with aggressive, nonsensical nonsense to help make up for some kind of no-one-ever-listens-to-me complex shit that people carry with them from their past. But do you really want to be that knucklehead who got caught on camera hurling a can of beer at Hyun Soo Kim? He might not have been in the 500s, but you get what I'm sayin'.
I digress. I really didn’t intend on beginning this post with some kind of rant about Internet etiquette and not being a complete asshole when engaging with people or expressing your ideas, but I did and I’m not about to hit the delete button on it either.
The thing is that last season many of us fans knew that it was most likely José Bautista’s last bat-flip at the ol’ Dome and that we should try to appreciate what was his final tour. And goddamn it, Jays fans came through in that last game and gave one of the greatest Blue Jays of all-time the moment that he deserved. Shit, to be honest, I almost cried.
But let’s not forget that during the season, there were a ton of squids out there hootin’ and hollerin’ about how much Bautista sucks and blah-blah-blah-goes-the-choo-choo-train to nowhere land, amirite? And I know that he didn’t have a great season, but it kind of got a bit tiresome if you ask me.
So, believe it or not, we’re slowly moving closer to spring training and all things Blue Jays baseball and I hope to hell that during this season, we can all agree to enjoy what might be Josh Donaldson’s last year as a Blue Jay.
It’s a hard reality, but it’s reality nonetheless. And no matter what happens, or where he goes, or even if he stays – let’s play nice, eh! And, more importantly, let’s just simply sit back with our drink of choice, and enjoy the 2018 WAR Machine.
By now, we should all know that Josh Donaldson is not going to be the bringer of prospects in a trade, like some of you ‘let’s trade him and rebuild’ thinkers believed, as the market has clearly shown that this is not the case for a star player in the last year of his contract.
So now that we have that out of the way, let's talk about the only two options: The 2018 season goes sideways and he’s traded by the trade deadline; or the organization offers him an extension and he accepts it - or rejects it. Dun … dun … duuuuuuuuuuuuun. The end.
And if Josh Donaldson is healthy and plays a full season and proves to MLB executives that he is worth a 5-year 150 million dollar deal, that’s cool, as the millennials would say, AF.
And many Blue Jays fans out there, in the greatest country on the planet, would say, ‘pay the man.’ But there are other Blue Jays fans that argue, ‘Vladdy is the future. Why get trapped in a 'shitty long-term contract. They never work out.’ And you know what, maybe these types of contracts don’t – sometimes, but maybe they do.
But during the great Josh Donaldson debate that isn’t going to go anywhere anytime soon, let’s at least remember to appreciate the are-you-kidding-me awesome skills that he will most likely display on the field and at the plate this year. Because the man has just recently said that he’s feeling great, he’s healthy, he’s training hard, and he’s ready to: ‘be that guy’. So let’s enjoy the opportunity to watch him do that.
And if the worst case Ontario happens, and he declines Toronto’s offer at the end of the season and walks for bigger money somewhere else, please don’t start the ‘shatkins’ thing again. I mean not that any of you people who use that shitty term are about to stop anyway, but in case you forgot – it’s Shapiro and Atkins – not shatkins.
I know it’s fun to take part in this great Josh Donaldson debate, but simmer the hell down a bit and remember to enjoy what could be his final tour in blue. I hope to hell it’s not, but I’m prepared for it to be just that.
It’s important in life to always be prepared for the absolute worse outcomes, so that you are ready for them. So, I guess, just be ready for the very real possibility that JD might not be a Blue Jay in 2019. And, shit, if the FO doesn’t trade him at the deadline, and he agrees to a contract extension – how bat-flippin’ happy will you be?
So at the end of this bullshit rant, I guess let’s be happy that Josh Donaldson is a Blue Jay today, and let’s try not to worry too much about tomorrow. And no matter what happens, it doesn’t make Mark Shapiro and Ross Atkins shitty executives, it just means the team is moving into a different direction, and a direction that they hope will lead to a future Blue Jays team that will be able to sustain long-term success.
Obviously, I want them to pony up the cash and pay the man, but maybe it’s not the best thing to do – or maybe it is. What the hell do you think?
One thing that Josh Donaldson has made crystally fuckin’ clear is that he wants to be a Blue Jay. Let’s hope so.