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It's Not Always Mashed Potatoes And Gravy ...

December 18, 2017

 

We’re a week away from the ethereal beauty of mashed potatoes and turkey smothered in delicious gravy, yet good ol’ Birds fans continue to be a bunch of pigeons swarming the crazy lady in the park who throws stale bread.

 

And this solid as a brick loaf of Wonder Bread being fed to all these street birds was on sale last week at No Frills for $.99 and pairs perfectly with some baloney. And baloney - also known as bologna - is a cheap cut of something, which I used to eat a ton of growing up in the eighties.

 

Now, the word ‘boloney’ is also used to describe an idea that is foolish, so it’s an ol’ fashion way to say that someone is being nonsensical. Yes, it's true all you millennials, in the olden days, trash ideas were referred to as a big load of ‘baloney’, or as I’d prefer to say 'hooey' – either way such thoughts belong in Palookaville with all the palookas.

 

Now, personally, I don’t have any qualms with baloney – meat is meat, but it definitely wouldn’t make it onto my charcuterie board, right? I mean, c’mon, only aged prosciutto, Montreal brisket, Milano salami, and delicious damn French cheese is going to find it’s rightful place on a fine platter.

 

So you may be asking, what the hell is this Jays Droppings guy going on about? And, yes, that’s the whole point. I could continue to write about pretty much absolutely nothing - even though there is a metaphor at play in the introduction - but I feel like it’s time to slice right into it and get to the rant part of this piece, as some Jays writers out there continue to try to paint this FO negatively.

 

***

HOLIDAY RANT

***

 

 

Last week, Mark Shapiro and Ross Atkins – not shatkins, please stop – were at the Winter Meetings. And while there, they did a lot of talking, and they said some
things.

 

Now, all Ross did was talk and make no moves, so cue that damn noise by every damn who. And all Mark did was say something that is now being misinterpreted by the anti-Cleveland-crony-clan, who are now venting a rejuvenated distaste towards the Toronto FO – again:

 

“I’ve said all along, if we were just running our team without fans and it was an intellectual exercise, we would’ve hit a reset over a year ago,”

 

And cue all the noise. All. The. Noise. From. Who. And maybe Shapiro shouldn’t have been so honest, but it's true. It hardly sounds like a man who is trying to play anyone for a fool.

 

And how in the hell could you not know this to begin with? A last year ‘reset’ is a hard sell to make to not only the fans, but also ownership too.

 

And the fact of the matter is that 2017 isn’t exactly Shapiro, Atkins, or Gibbons’ fault, is it? The 25-man roster could’ve totally competed and found themselves in the wild card hunt, but nothing went right now, did it?

 

And I don’t really need to get into all the woes now, do I? There is very little reason for me to remind anyone about the lack of production from Bautista, the JD first half, Sanchez’s blister, Devon’s heartbreaking injury, and the holy-shit-Russell-Martin’s-health-is-vital-to-the-success-of-this-team 2017 blunders, is there?

 

But it’s all Shapiro’s fault. Atkins' too. And, Gibby. Fire Gibby. Fire. Them. All. They are playing us for fools, complete fools. 

 

Please stop all the surrounding noise. Please. Stop. All you who ...

 

What's The Point Of Mashed Potatoes, If There Is No Gravy

 

 

The one thing I know about this FO is that they are not force-feeding fans anything. They have been very clear about what their plans are and that has not changed.

 

What do you really expect this organization to do? Trade for Chris Archer? Stanton? Sign Cobb? Unload three top prospects for Yelich?

 

Because some times there are Blue Jays headlines (which I don’t click on) that try to force feed bad and unrealistic Blue Jays ideas that are never going to happen. And some fans, read it, and believe it.

 

And it’s all baloney.

 

And, yeah, if you’re unhappy with the Blue Jays’ lack of activity this offseason, I get it - but be patient. And think about the position that they are in right now, as they have to be incredibly crafty with the resources they have and current roster they're working with, don’t they?

 

The Toronto FO is in a position where if they trade Josh Donaldson, people will be unhappy. If they trade top prospects, people will be unhappy. If they don’t sign big free agents, who probably aren’t worth their asking price, people will be unhappy. If they give the core of talent on the roster another chance, people will probably not be happy. If they 'blah, blah, blah', unhappy. And unhappy, if they.

 

What a position to be in, don’t you think? Now, pass the gravy. Right? Exactly.

 

The truth is not enough time has passed to be able to properly evaluate the ‘philosophies’ – or as some may call it ‘propaganda’ that they have been feeding us. 

 

So rest your soul all you ‘shatkins’ people, and just stop – it’s baloney. And who really wants to be fed that, am I right?

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