Richard Griffin wrote an article suggesting that the Blue Jays are scuffing along and having trouble getting back in the ‘deep’ AL East race because the team is lacking a true ace.
Well, I do agree with Griffin, but that’s some serious guff kind of stuff here. He opens up the article with this thought:
After clawing back from a disastrous opening month, the Blue Jays are finding it difficult to pick themselves up and get back in the race minus a true starting ace, a rotation stopper that will consistently step up to end a losing skid.
It’s not like the guy is wrong, BUT there really isn’t anything too fucking groundbreaking happening here in terms of producing something to think about. It’s a kind of boring 'zero conditional clause' article of thoughts.
For example, if the Blue Jays have a true ace (Chris Sale), the team wins more games.
It’s that simple. And who wouldn’t agree with this, this is not a maverick thought - it’s just a big millennial ‘obvi’.
Once you read through the ‘closest thing to a future ace is Aaron on the DL until July Sanchez blah blah blahs’, he begins to discuss the ‘five times’ facts:
Meanwhile, the Jays have been unable to climb back to .500, the first step in showing they can compete or be contenders again. Five times since Opening Day, the Jays have been one game below .500, and five times they have emerged as losers. There does not seem a true “go-to” starter in the current rotation.
And it’s hard to disagree with what the maverick is saying, BUT once again he goes back to the 'zero conditional clause' type of thinking, which is a big millennial ‘obvi’.
I mean, of course, the Blue Jays record would be a hell of a baseball fuck better if the Jays had a Kershaw, Sale, Bumgarner, Scherzer, or the always-steady Verlander, BUT they don’t … the team doesn’t fucking have any of these types of true ‘stopper’ aces.
Griffin continues with a few more blah blah blahs about how Sports Illustrated ranked the Blue Jays’ starting rotation as low as 16th among 30 teams. And, yeah, when the ‘spring ranking season’ started, there was no dispute by me (and many others) in respect to this SI ranking because the 6th man of 'who'? And the 7th man of 'huh'? – wasn’t exactly inspiring.
And then, of course, the fingers crossed please-good-Lord-in-the-are-you-even-there-sky prayers were sent by fans (and Mark ShapIro) to please let the Blue Jays starting rotation stay as healthy as Bugs fucking Bunny does in all his battles with Elmer Fudd, BUT that didn’t fucking happen now, did it? Fudd shot the Blue Jays starting rotation and the little squirt shot almost every star player while he was at it too.
So here’s the thing Griffin, the fact that Blue Jays have even had five opportunities to get to .500 is pretty fucking remarkable considering the Elmer Fudd injury hoedown suffered all goddamn spring, don’t you think?
My favorite ‘perhaps’ of this piece is the magic ball theory that:
Perhaps Sports Illustrated anticipated the injuries that slowed down Sanchez, Happ and Liriano.
Yes, perhaps someone from SI called up Sanchez, who is young and healthy, and asked, got blisters? And Sanchez’s quick response, ‘soon coming.’ Perhaps. Indeed, perhaps.
But let’s check out this pretty fucking obnoxious perhaps (sorry Griffin):
Perhaps they realized the top levels of the Jays’ minor-league system were paper-thin when it came to Nos. 6-10 starters.
Lord have baseball mercy. Truly. Any dipshit under the Blue Jays baseball sun could have perhaps known this (once again) big fucking millennial obvi. – BTW!
Oh this article gets even better when Griffin decides to compare Stroman to fucking Roy ‘what’s up Doc’ Halladay:
There may be those that suggest that at age 26, Stroman is still learning, still evolving into an inevitable future role as the Jays’ No. 1 starter. But consider that at age 26, Halladay won the 2003 Cy Young Award, going 22-7 with a 3.25 ERA in 36 starts, logging 266 innings.
Oh yes, in Halladay’s Cy Young season, in 15 starts following a team loss, the big right-hander was 11-3, averaging 7 1/3 innings with a 3.33 ERA. From May 1 to July 31 in those same starts after a loss, Halladay was 8-0 with a 1.92 ERA, walking just three batters in 61 innings. Halladay is set to be inducted into the Canadian Baseball Hall of Fame in St. Marys on June 24.
Listen Griffin, I know you are a fucking baseball maverick (and I do respect you, but I don’t have to agree with you), but perhaps it’s a bit fucking much to be comparing Marcus Stroman to arguably the greatest Blue Jays pitcher ever – just saying. And to add to this, it's difficult to compare the two based on their ages because Stroman was a better pitcher than Halladay at 23 before Roy reinvented himself into the 'Doc', so there's that.
The thing is, I do agree with ‘bits of tid’ here, and I most certainly agree with his concluding two sentences:
The Blue Jays have five solid starting pitchers in the rotation, plus they have Sanchez on the mend.
But this team still requires a true starting ace in order to begin making up ground in a very deep AL East.
And hopefully that ‘true’ starting ace is going to be Aaron Sanchez, who knows? Certainly not Griffin, certainly not me, and certainly not you, the reader, but it is most certainly not going to be Kershaw or Sale * sigh *, BUT Aaron Sanchez is a good guess - I think, you?