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The Bush League Braves: Who is Eric O’Flaherty Anyway?!

May 18, 2017

When looking at this picture, are you thinking what is happening here? Me too, really, what hellacious kind of nonsense is this, no? Well, after last night's ballgame, some culturally insensitive trash was said if you ask me, so let's begin this little millennial WTF rant because holy fuck what the hell did that meatball throwing Eric O'Flaherty say? 

 

Well, here’s the thing folks, the Atlanta Braves are dog shit (minus RA Dickey – of course), and they are in a bridge to the future tomorrow, and that’s fine. Their Atlanta Brave ‘OhhhhOOOOOOOO whatever the Ohhhh’ chant and tomahawk chop, which pisses off the social activists who wail for the death of Chief Wahoo, should also ask for the bush league Braves to stop their bush league players from saying a thing like Eric O’Flaherty did after last night's game. 

 

And, NO, he’s not some guy you think you know from your local dive bar watering hole, he’s a pitcher for the Atlanta Braves, and the pitcher who Jose Bautista hit his dinger against last night too.

 

So after all the dog shit sloppy baseball was over, and the old dirt settled, it was, of course, scrum time and O’Flaherty (not the guy at your local dive bar) said a thing, what I mean is, a few dipshit things, so let’s take a look at these bush talk thoughts!

 

Here’s what he had to say about Bautista’s bat flip:

 

“That’s something that’s making the game tough to watch lately,”

 

Okay, sure, I don’t think that Bautista needed to flip and stare as hard as he did, especially under the circumstances, BUT I will always come to the defence of Jose because Jose is a goddamn legend, and HE MAKES THE FUCKING GAME FUN TO WATCH LIKE ALL THE OTHER LATIN PLAYERS WHO BRING SOME GODDAMN EMOTION TO THE GAME ... O”FLAHERTY YOU FUCKING BORN IN 1985 

DINOSAUR!

 

Okay, I will digress, and simmer the fuck down now. So he thinks it’s making the game tough to watch lately. Hmm. Wait! Did he just say that? UMMM, OKAY, BUT KNOW IT THE FUCK IS NOT!

 

All right, I’m taking a breath now, as I sit here finger-pressing keys on my shitty MacBook.

 

So here's the big fucking reminder folks: baseball is an international game and in Latin America it’s fun, the bat flip is a part of their celebration, and it’s culturally acceptable, and Latin players DO-NOT-NEED-TO-CHANGE-BECAUSE-GOOD-OL’-AMERICA-DOESN’T-LIKE-THIS-KIND-OF-PASSION.

 

I mean, go to a game in Cuba or Venezuela – it’s a fucking party, it’s fun, it’s loud, and it’s awesome. It’s not a fucking dinosaur yawn, it’s a goddamn inning after inning party filled with bat flip admiration for doing a good job. Anyway, moving on, so let’s take a look at more things that O’Flaherty-who? Said what?!:

 

“It’s just turned into look-at-me stuff, it’s not even about winning anymore. Guy wants to hit a home run in a five-run game, pimp it, throw the bat around – I mean, I don’t know. It’s frustrating as a pitcher. I didn’t see it at the time, but I saw the video – he looked at me, tried to make eye contact. It’s just tired. We’ve seen it from him, though.”

 

Oh-Flaherty, ‘look at me stuff’, really? That’s absolute dog shit … should all the Latin players apologize to dinosaur scabs like you for making baseball cool?!

 

I’m going to move on from this, but let’s digress back to his nonsensical ‘making the game tough to watch’ trash thought. Because if he wants to know what’s making the game tough to watch, it is players struggling to slide into second because they’re afraid of the new slide rule. That’s frustrating as fuck because we all miss a real double play, am I right?

 

And the holy shit let’s speed up the game with the 'no pitch' intentional walk thing is pretty fucking tough to watch too, if you really want to talk about what’s making the game hard to watch.

 

And how could I forget about waiting for every fucking manager who slows down the game, as they try to figure out if they should challenge the call with the instant replay – that’s fucking making it hard to watch too, O’Flaherty! 

 

BUT IT ISN'T BAUTISTA'S BAT FLIP - OR ANY OTHER LATN BAT FLIP THOUGH,  THAT'S FOR SURE!

 

Okay, let's look at what else this bush league dipshit said:

 

“I’m surprised he’s ready to fight again after last year,” O’Flaherty said, laughing. “But he’s throwing some looks around so…it’s what it is.”

 

So fucking O’Flaherty is a comedian now too … Holy Jesus Murphy, Eh! He sure can chirp! I got one for you O’Flaherty – it’s better than throwing fucking big sloppy meatballs over the plate, don’t you think?

 

Oh, and I’m not quite done yet, because the writer of the article that I’m copy and pasting all of their dog shit thoughts from typed a thing too:

 

‘Bautista’s face absorbed one of the most hellacious punches every thrown on a baseball field.’

 

Oh cut the dramatic shit here man, really? Holy vocabulary adjective digging for some kind of special effect, no? ‘Hellacious’, really? I can think of some pretty damn dirty punches in the game, don’t give Odor that much fucking credit, but I get it, it was the best adjective you could find … Moving on now.

 

So the Atlanta Braves are complete bush league (minus RA Dickey) and some guy said some things that were/are trash thoughts and nonsensical nonsense about Bautista making the game hard to watch these days, which couldn’t be further from the dinosaur truth.

 

At the end of the day, ‘stupid says what stupid says’, but when stupid has a mic in front of them, the stupid is louder than it should be.

 

The problem in baseball isn’t the Latin players who bat flip to celebrate doing a good job, it’s dinosaur thoughts from stupid white men who say them. So I say take off, you hoser – bat flip this!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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