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Sincerely, John Gibbons

May 17, 2017

 

Dear Ninnies,

 

I know some of ya think I’m a dang ol’ sonova something, but ol’ Gibbers wanted to try to fly with the ol’ Eagles … and it’s been tough times hootin’ with the Owls lately. So ol’ Gibbers thought damn it, I’m gonna get Devo to bunt.

 

Yeah, ol’ Gibbers knows the ol’ phone lines be ringin’ on those ninny Blue Jays talk shows with bozos spitting ol’ tobacco on my bunt call. But damn it, I thought outside the ol’ spittoon, did it pay off? Well, ya know, it sure as Texas hide shit didn’t.

 

That’s good ol’ baseball folks. And I’m not gonna sit here and sip my wine over all the could’ve, should’ve ninny talk that ya Canadian hosers are gonna do on your dimwit Reddit threads filled with ninny sucking dipshits that need an ol’ Texas piece of the Gibbers mind.

 

And listen folks, ya can go ahead and call in and say your ol’ Gibbers piece to the chat lines today of dipshit no it all flunkies – Gibbers don’t care.

 

And, yeah, so maybe ol’ Gibbers made a bad call. Devo’s been hitting the ball everywhere, yup, lot’s of good ol’ doubles too. And ol Gibbers knows that it was the bottom of the eighth and we were only down 6-5, BUT DeMarlo whispered in Gibbers ol’ ear that if we bunt, the bunt can win, the bunt can win, and, I, ol Gibbers, don’t like the ol’ bunt, but I like the win, so I listened to DeMarlo.

 

Truth is, it’s his fault, not ol’ Gibbers. Ya think I’m gonna take the fall for this one. Nope. Not ol’ Gibbers. I felt bad for DeMarlo, haven’t been listenin’ to much to his ol’ baseball mind this year, so I thought - damn it Gibbers give this DeMarlo idea a shot, so I did, ol’ Gibbers gave it a shot. And it shot me in the ol’ Texas Cowboy boot.

 

I know … I know … Travis was 7-for-12 in the ol' dirt box when DeMarlo convinced me to have Devo bunt, but it was a goddamn Eagle move and not some kind of ninny Owl hoot – it’s what the good Managers do, well,that's what Mr. DeMarlo 'I've got your best interest Skip' Hale told ol' Gibbers at least. Goddamn DeMarlo. He says, the good Skips call for bunts.

 

So I did.

 

But when Gibbers don’t call for the bunt, the ninnies cry. When Gibbers calls for the bunt, the ninnies cry. Why? Cuz that’s what ninnies do. 

 

Heck, good ol’ Gibbers knows the game of baseball, so simmer down ya old bitty hens. It was one goddamn play. One. And how many plays in a game? One? Don’t think so, nope. Ha.

 

Yup, I’m Chief Gibbers - not you.

 

So goddamn it all you poohooing Canadian ‘eh’ cryin’ hosers, relax, Gibbers knows how to be goddamn good and fly with the Eagles because ol’ Gibbers doesn’t hoot with the damn Owls. I was on the damn 1986 Mets unlike all you lame ninny 'call into Mike Wilner bozos' who will be cryin' about me today. What were y'all doin' in 1986? Bunting? Ha.

 

I’m not gonna sit back and drink my wine like you cuz I'm the Gibbers.

 

Sincerely,

 

John Gibbons

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