Blue Jays Fans And Their Million Dollar Dreams

‘It’s hard to beat a person who never gives up.’ – Babe Ruth

I think that a lot of Toronto Blue Jays fans needed to have the Monday night that was delivered by baseball. Especially after the news that Russell Martin has been placed on the 10-Day DL, as the million dollar bench continues to grow in salary:

  • Troy Tulowitzki $20 million

  • Russell Martin $20 million

  • Josh Donaldson $17 million

  • J Hip I mean Happ $13 million

… And, of course, Aaron Sanchez who is making $535,000 (but really an arm worth a big time million dollar contract in the future), so that’s a grand total of $70,535,000 on the goddamn golden bench of broken dreams and nightmares.

So since April, it has been one giant fucking classic knee scrape in the old playground after another, and Martin’s news just tossed a little more dirt and stones into the sore and scabbed up scrape on the old knee. And that's why Monday’s win against the Tribe (who are arguably the best team in the American League) was the giant millennial 'sigh' that the fans needed.

Because so far this season has been filled with noise from old biddy turkeys, who gobble while finger tapping their Blue Jays thoughts on their smartphones and laptops over moot topics on Reddit and other Blue Jays vacuous threads, as they extrapolate Blue Jays statistics and all the other blah-blah-blahs and yadi-yadi-yas for the sake of being heard.

But last nights game silenced all of the piercing nonsensical baseball noise, as the good old Jays fans were able to step out of the ‘old biddy box’ and appreciate the game we all love.

So cue Monday night and Edwin’s return. It was everything that the good Birds fans needed, am I right? It felt good to feel the baseball feels that weren’t filled with flying beer can thoughts that scream: ‘shatkins’, ‘the team is old’, and ‘blow this team up’, didn’t it?

I thought so.

I think the return of Edwin to the good ol’ SkyDome Centre was somewhat therapeutic for all of us fans. It redirected our thoughts to remember and appreciate the great memories that this ball club has given us over the past couple of years.

And it should also be a reminder to take the time and appreciate the magic that can come out of right field and leave you in awe like the are-you-fucking-kidding-me Kevin Pillar catch, and the holy-shit-did-Goins-just-crush-that-ball like he was Mark McGwire on the juice because, yes, that hardworking underdog with the golden glove sure did.

The Million Dollar Questions

1. Have our good old birds (and no the fucking pun is not in play here) been hit with a Matt Barnes (from the Boston Shit Sucks) fastball to the head this season?


2. Could anyone (including all the genius baseball analysts on Reddit) have ever predicted that $70,535,000 would be sitting on the golden DL bench in May?

Absolutely not.

3. Once the million dollar bench returns to the field, can this team turn it on and crawl up the AL East standings?

Who the fuck knows? I’m sure some supercilious pontifical ape in some Blue Jays thread does, but I certainly don’t.

But what I do know is, time passes us all so quickly as we run around the baseball diamond sun, and I think that Edwin’s return was a nice nostalgic ‘stop and enjoy the ball game’ moment that this country needed.

And if this team can play some baseball like they did on Monday night, maybe fans will have a little more to cheer about, which is the best noise that any fan can make.

 bat flips are poetic
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