You Wanna Talk Ugly, Eh!

April 28, 2017

 

So you wanna talk ugly, eh! That’s the jive of your Blue Jays vibe. Then fuckin’ eh, let’s talk how ugly it is in Uglyville. Does it make you feel better to just say, fuck it this team sucks we’re done? Does it feel good to say, the Blue Jays suck? - Or how about, fuck these Jays are complete trash – fuck em’. Feel good?

 

So yeah let’s talk the ugly, since a fuckin’ handful of Birds fans want to continue with the fuck vibe full of fuck-this-and-fuck-that-this-is-fucked-their-fucking-crap-shit.

 

Apparently, some of Blue Jays nation feels like it’s fuckin’ baseball blow it up time. It’s time to go Trump style on this goddamn team, and drop the MOAB all over the Birds roster.

 

Let’s fucking trade Josh Donaldson because the team can get a fuckin’ ton of prospects, right? Eh?! Yet, it hasn’t dawned on some people that when you have a Josh Donaldson maybe it’s better for ownership that has a shit ton of money to pony up and keep him in Toronto because he’s Josh fucking Donaldson.

 

I was listening to Blue Jays Nation pod with, of course, Drew and Stoeten, and Drew made a good point  when he said (something like) that at the very least wait until the fucking offseason when more hands will be in play to trade Donaldson. In the end, he stressed (or maybe Stoeten did, I don't fucking remember) why not just fucking pay him as long as budget balancing is played out correctly because we all know the 'blah blahs', as Rogers has the fucking means to do so. But let’s not go down that sloppy wet diaper filled thought of fuck Rogers, am I right?

 

The team has been playing like shit - okay, got it. So where do you want to start? Do you want to start with Osuna? Okay yeah, something is up and he needs to sort it out. Is he 100%? I have no fucking idea, my guess, probably not. Steve Pearce has been piercingly bad. Like holy shit bad. J.P. ‘House Of Pain’ Howell has been complete dog shit. And fuckin’ Grilli has been a giant fucking millennial ‘meh’ too. So I get it, the bullpen has been shit. Will it see upgrades? Of course it fucking will because it’s the easiest thing to add to or try to fix, as any baseball fan knows.

 

Fuck, I really don’t know where to start. Jose Bautista? Okay, got it. Russell Martin? Okay, got it. The fucking injuries? Yes, check – got it. The team is old? Okay, there’s that too.

 

Justin Smoak, Ryan Goins, Chris Coghlan, and Darwin Barney carrying the wait of a fucking beaten down lineup – check. Mat Latos. Check. Casey fucking Lawrence. Check. And holy shit Jarrod ‘the Salt’ Saltalawhatthefuck has been complete trash (and since writing this, he has now been trashed and released). So ... Check. Check. Check.

 

 

Is there any other wine, you’d like to taste?

 

The team has a big old dirty piss filled hole that they need to climb out of and precious time continues to fucking tick down the nations spine of impatience, and I fucking get it. And if this team plays some good baseball in May (playing a pretty fucking desirable amount of trash teams that they are capable of beating), they could be at the .500 mark, who the fuck knows? We can all continue to play out the ugly numbers, piss in the fucking air, but we are on this goddamn Bird train until Fall – so I say – fuck it, I say nothing. The air is being filled, not much else to say.

 

We need this team to play the heavyweights it has. We need this group of underdogs filling holes to continue fucking battling. We need players to sort it out. The numbers are ugly, time is ticking so fucking aggressively, but the same noise that is being made now might shift come May if somehow this team starts to climb out the AL East pit they have dug for themselves.

 

One thing is for certain, if this team would’ve won half of the close one-run and two-run ball games that they lost – the noise would be different in Blue Jays nation, but they fucking didn’t – so here we are. Is that what you wanted to read? Because that’s all the noise I’m hearing lately.

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