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The Dome Opener Report

April 12, 2017

 

The Toronto streets were filled with Blue Bird caps and jerseys in the subway, on the streetcar, and up and down the streets of the Big Smoke during the five o’clock rush – and people were enlivened by the Home Opener and catching a first look at the birds of summer.

 

The curtains were drawn and Tim and the clown Sid were live to air in their little 'suit desk' interviewing players who are way cooler than them. The cast and crew were excited for the big opening to their theatrical show and the SportsNet players were ready to make their heads talk – minus, of course, the one and only Barry Davis.

 

 

Good luck Barry with your new podcast. 

 

Side note: some fans of the big event caught the likes of Hazel Mae and Jamie Campbell doing mouth stretches before the gates opened and the show went live.

 

I think it’s important to note (as a Jays Droppings insider caught word) that SportsNet producers are working with new mic grips for many of their reporters in order to improve the level of effectiveness in the scrum, so keep your eye on that folks during this season.

 

 

And in Gregg Zaun news: apparently, he arrived late, and was visibly upset that his usual makeup artist was unable to make it to the big event due to food poisoning (bad sushi).  He really trusts this specific makeup artist’s gentle brush of the blush to lift his cheeks to make them look more alive, so this may have been the reason he said many things last night that already had you thinking ‘shut the fuck up Zaun’ – this makeup blemish just threw off his whole groove for the night.

 

In other news, my neighbour reported to me that he was in line at the Starbucks in the Beaches of Toronto and saw Ken Reid practicing saying the ‘manalyst’ over and over while waiting for his Vanilla Bean Latte, so there’s that little tidbit of information to pass onto you as well.

 

 

In other SportNet Home Opener news: Buck Martinez and Pat Tabler attended their normal pre-game ESL pronunciation class, as they worked on the many unfamiliar sounds within the vowel chart for Latin names.

 

A lot of preparation and rehearsal goes into this big event from the production side of the fence, and it takes a lot of hard work for the cast and crew to be ready for Opening Day.

 

Then, of course, the gates opened, and the ‘blue crew’ fans arrived excited for some good old Blue Jays baseball – the fever was in the air, wasn’t it?

 

Now, here’s the 'double-jeopardy' question:

 

For every Opening Day game for every new season, how many ‘bros’ does it take to fill the SkyDome?

 

 

Because I have always found (through my own observations and past experiences at the Home Opener) that most people who attend the game, aren’t really the ‘true blue’ fan of the good old Birds anyway. It’s just an excuse to get drunk, and then go out to a douche bar on King St. after the old ball game.

 

I don’t know about you, but I find it fun to sit on the couch, watch the pre-game HYPE that fills the air of the Dome, all the fans who twirl their towels, and then the dramatic shift in energy as the first inning finishes, and the yawns begin (no seriously, I was counting yawns on my flat screen from the shots of the crowd). I stopped counting at 43. This is a true story.

 

So the Home Opener is a great event and spectacle that attracts mostly the ‘browagon' (plus his girlfriend) Blue Jays fan – and that’s fine, but that’s why I’ve stopped going to these games.

 

But the good news is, the gates have opened, the curtains are drawn, and it’s Blue Bird show time – so it’s time to start breaking American League legs.

 

And that’s your Jays Droppings Dome Opener report.

 

Side note: Where the fuck was the lady behind home plate?

 

 

 

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