Drunk John Gibbons Series Afterthoughts
Side note: I have some serious top secret agents at Jays Droppings who know the who, who knows: the man. And the man was able to get his hands on a recorded first person drunk narrative of John Gibbons after the series loss in Baltimore.
Camden Yards, Baltimore
Wednesday, April 5 - roughly around 9:45 PM (visiting manager's office)
And here's a first person account of John Gibbons:
Where’s my wine? The boys don’t need to know. Fuck it Gibbers, go for the ol’ Turkey. … Where is she? Where’d ya put her last, think Gibbers, think. Ahh, yup, found her. Good ol’ season. Back at it again, Gibbers, yup, gotta do the ol’ Sportsnet scrum. Fuckin' Barry Davis. Wait, Gibbers, where is Davis? Think Gibbers ... think, hmm, fuck it Gibbers, just ask JD tonight on the ol’ plane. Headin' out to good ol’ Tampa, nice place, yup, just spent the last two months there. Nice to go back Gibbers, who’s pitching again? Think … Stroman, yup, good kid. Who’s on the ol’ dirt hill for the Rays Gibbers … Ah, yup, that's it ... ya still got the ol' brain Gibbers, Blake Snell. Snell … Funny name. Lefty? No Righty? Come on Gibbers … Where’s the Turkey? Ah, yup, there she is. Snell a lefty. Snell. Who knows, Snell? Snell knows Gibbers. Snell knows. Tough series, the ol’ boys hit like shit. Yup, couldn’t hit for shit. It’s like the ol’ Texas sayin’ Gibbers … It’s not everyday a kernel pops … Still can’t believe nobody knows that one. Yup, she sure is a good one. Sure is. Boys gonna have to figure out the at-bats Gibbers. Ah! Gibbers we're two games in and you’re gonna have to go with the ol 'the boys bats are gonna come around' bit already. Fuckin' Toronto media. Great city. Shit media, ha, yup, ain’t that the truth Gibbers. So the first one in the ol’ books, she sure is Gibbers. A two-gamer in three days. MLB schedule, yup, nothing like a day off after my first day in. Ha. Where’s the Turkey? Oh, there she is … Oh yeah, that hits the ol’ Texas spot Gibbers. A couple more of these and a then a good sleep on the ol’ plane. I've missed baseball. But had to lose the first one to ol Buck, good ol’ Buck. Pansy pants. Never liked him, a bit of a ninny that Buck is, yup, Gibbers he’s a ninny. But his Machado kid sure has a good glove. Special kid that Machado, yup, he’ll be a Yankee soon. And we set a new record in the first game too Gibbers ... what was it again ... think. What did that Barry Davis say, wait, was it Davis … Think Gibbers. Fuck it, Davidi. Who said it Gibbers? Turkey? Where are ya pal? Ha, there she is. Yup, whatcha ma fuck … 13 stranded base runners. Not good Gibbers, early though nice and early. Estrada pitched good Monday, good guy, yup, like our rotation. Just need those bats to come alive Gibbers. Yup, they will. Happened last year too. Gotta say Gibbers don’t remember too much from game one, she’s a bit hazy, might’ve had a bit too much of the ol’ Turkey on Tuesday. Ha. Turkey Tuesdays. MLB day off, sure thing skip, sure thing. Better check on Pillar and Martin on the ol plane, ya mean the ol' bird gibbers, the good ol’ blue bird, yup. Cuz we’re leaving on a jet plane. That's a good one, Gibbers loves him some John Denver on an ol' road trip. Gotta love em’ Gibbers. Manny ... Manny ... Manny kid can play. Gonna be a Yankee Buck. Ha. And that Bundy kid, pitched a good one lil' King Kong squirt, has a face like he should still be in middle school. Gettin' old Gibbers. Gettin' fuckin’ old. Yup, this ol’ cowboy has built the rodeo, been to the rodeo, and rode the ol’ rodeo - Bundy. Kid looks like a ninny too. Not much to take away here Gibbers. Joey can still toss an ol’ ball, Pillar still making some good catches, Martin already taking an ol’ beating, we’re hittin’ like shit, and the Baltimore crowd is spit in the ol' tobacco can. Yup, Gibbers, it reminds me of last April. Happ and Estrada … good kids Gibbers. Good outings. Who does Estrada look like Gibbers? Think Gibbers. Fuck. Where’s the Turkey? Ah. Yup, Frankie Carbone. Goodfellas. Ha. Good movie. Those Italians. Funny guys. Gonna have tell that one to ol' Marco. Yup, alright Gibbers gotta go answer a few questions from Barry. Wait Gibbers, is it Barry? Where’s Davis? Hmm. Gonna have to ask JD. Where's the Turkey? Hmm, yup, there she is.