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MLB's New World Order (No-Pitch Intentional Walk Thoughts)

February 24, 2017

 

I can just imagine it now - the MLB talking heads sitting around their NWO table with their Starbucks Blonde Vanilla Lattes discussing how they can speed up the game. Robert Manfred the 'newish' MLB commissioner said in an interview with ESPN that the MLB's concern is about the pace of the game, dead time in the game, pitchers who don't work quickly (unlike Mark Buehrle), batters getting out of the box and to eliminate ALL that dead time. 

 

What dead time? Is this about the money Mr. Bob Manfred? Probably. Because baseball is just fine how it is.

(That's Bobby Manfred - he's the Eric Bischoff of the MLB. He and his Blonde Vanilla Latte sipping NWO flunkies also want to raise the bottom of the strike zone, install pitch clocks and limit manager's trips to the mound - as many of you might have already read).

 

It's possible the MLB needs to speed up the pace for broadcasting concerns, isn't it? Because why are all the talking heads in the Commissioners Office so fucking concerned with speeding up the game? Could you imagine a pitch clock on the top right corner of your flatscreen? And what would happen if the pitch clock time ran out? Deep breath, followed by - sigh. Ah geez, commissioners - say it ain't so. 

 

As of this week, baseball fans have to accept the no-pitch intentional walk because the MLB Commissioners have 'Hulk Hogan leg dropped' the possibility of the wild intentional walk pitch - or the crazy fake out, toss it down the middle of the plate Little League play used at the Big League level kind of shit that, of course, happens as often as a super moon, but is really fucking exciting when it does. Let's appreciate the beauty in this wild 'Ricky Vaughn style montage' of pitches in this MLB clip (which is not my property):

 

 

MLB FACT CHECK: Walks are down over the past few years, so this isn't going to have a real impact on the speed of the games. There were 932 intentional walks last year, including 600 in the National League, where REAL batsman are occasionally walked to bring the pitcher's 'gimme out' to the plate. 

 

 

 

Last year, sadly, Bobby Manfred and his New World Order cronies fucked with the slide into second, which I don't like at all, and in the end, this rule change dramatically slowed down the 'pace' of the game because of the constant Manager challenges to see if the 'slide' into second was 'clean'.

 

Listen, I get the slide into second rule change - I don't like it, but in the end it's hard to argue against the safety of a player. However, these baseball 'shortstops and second basemen' bros are skilled, wicked talented, and have been designed by the baseball Gods to have the ability to fly in the air, avoid the hard slide, and make magic - they've all been coached to do this since Little League. But we've had to accept that we will not see the double-play turned in Roberto Alomar fashion anymore. 

 

Instead, fans will see this, followed by a long delay due to the Manager's instant replay challenge:

(This clip is property of MLB baseball too - for formalities sake)

 

Jays fans remember this one?! Oh yeah, I sure do, that was my first MLB fucking outburst for the 2016 season. And do you remember how much - to quote Bobby Manfred 'dead time' followed after Joey Bats's love tap slide during the Manager's challenge - I sure do.  If the New World Order Plebes wanted to speed up the game maybe they could have eliminated the Manager checking to see if he should challenge the call type of 'dead time' that is slowing the fucking game down more than the intentional walk. But hey, what the fuck do I know?

 

As far as I'm concerned they got it wrong with the slide into second rule change, which has dramatically slowed down the game and ruined the true beauty of the double play. Let's appreciate this gem pic of the greatest second basemen in full-flight turning two as he avoids a hard slide:

 

The days of Pete 'Charlie Hustle' Rose hard slides and collides are over. The days of the unexpected ways of the baseball laws with the no-pitch intentional walk are over. NWO - I mean MLB Commissioner Bobby M has decided to put his dirty rat fingers into the blueprints of the MLB rules. Thus, creating the first ever NWO in the MLB. Folks, it's time to accept these new MLB times as the Commissioner wants to kill the 'dead time' with 'dead time' ideas. There's not much more haranguing that I can do, at least, fans can go to the MLB archives and dig up some good old school baseball. Because this Commissioner thinks, we the fans, want the game speeded up. I guess Bobby and his Vanilla Latte sipping Wolf Pack care about making the sport better for us, don't they? Probably not, because, we, the fans, love it the way it is.

 

Scott Hall, I mean one of Bobby Manfred's Commissioner wolves says this:

 

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